the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
