Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
