the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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