I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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