So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
