I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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