I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize