when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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