Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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