Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
