I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
