I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
