Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
