In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
