Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
