Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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