whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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