Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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