last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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