Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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