oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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