its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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