Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
