oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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