I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
