She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
