Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
