tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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