You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
