Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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