remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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