just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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