but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
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On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize