I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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