Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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