Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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