Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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