For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
