I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize