the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
