i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I believe in your delicious
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
