I cockslap morals
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
