We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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