I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
