I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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