if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
