dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize