I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize