Porn is love you can see.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Is it because I queefed?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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