Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
