I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
