I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
