wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just pee around me
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
