Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
