plz talk dirty to me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
