If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
