this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
