As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
