All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize