I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I lost the right to judge tonight
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
