Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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