Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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