Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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